A Lie Called Symbolism.

Hello friends, I am going to be discussing a topic we have all experienced if you passed the 6th grade. Symbolism.

My Opinion on the Subject:
I think symbolism is something teachers and theorists (yes that is a real word click) have created to spice up lesson plans and give themselves the appearance of depth and creativity in their thinking. Some times a tree is just a freaking tree. Could you believe they have entire web pages devoted to the "symbolism" of different trees.

Apple Tree: symbolize magic, youth, beauty and happiness

Birch Tree: symbolize new beginnings and cleansing of the past.

Ect. Ect.

I don't know about you... But I don't get the sense of magic, youth beauty or happiness out of that.(above)

Or  new beginnings and cleansing of the past from this. (above)

Check out the rest of these crazies: Weirdo Tree Website

Do people really feel the need to pick apart every single thing in life to see what it "means", what if there isn't always a hidden meaning, what if some times a tree really is just a tree, not a glimpce of hope or new beginings. What if it's just a tree, just a plant.  

I would literally piss my pants to see a world renowned English professor ask, if he weren't dead,  Frances Hodgson Burnett (author of the infamous book of symbolism, The Secret Garden) about all the "symbolism" in the story and have him tell he/she that there just isn't any, it's just a story.

Why can't people just except things, and stories for the shallow arts they are. By trying to dig so deeply into a story about what it "really means" causes you to completely miss the intentions of the author in the first place.

The End. This is a never ending battle, so I can't really win.

Iowa Laws

Well, I'd like to start this blog by telling you another life lesson I have learned this week.

Hypothetically speaking, If I were a person who sang in the shower and happened to be washing my face at the same time, it may or my not be a good idea because face wash may or may not taste good. Remember this is all hypothetical.

But anyway, I have nothing to write about, and I'm tired. I don't want to write about anything right now, but guess what? I have to. So here are dumb Iowa laws and my responses.

 Laws:

1. It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp.
2. A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.
3. One-armed piano players must perform for free.
4. Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.
5. Tanning bed facilities must warn of the risk of getting a sunburn.
6. A board was created to regulate among other things, hearing aids.
7. Ministers must obtain a permit to carry their liquor across state lines.
8. Doctors who treat a person with gonorrhea must report this to the local board of health and include the disease’s “probable origin”.
9. All boxes used to pick hops must be exactly 36 inches long.

Ok, responses:

1. I'm pretty sure it is a violation to sell drugs in general.
2. I really hate moustaches, and kissing in public, so I'm going to have to approve of this one.
3. Well, I don't think a one armed piano player would be very good so I don't think anyone would pay him for his efforts, so I disapprove.
4. I think they should add "in public" 
5. You are dumb if you don't know this. But for the people who are dumb enough to give themselves skin cancer may need this obvious information posted in their face.
6. I don't really know what this means
7. I'm wondering one, what is the penalty, and two, could they have somebody else carry their liquor across the border?
8. This one is just quite funny.
9. I'm not a farmer. I don't know the significance of this.

Taa Daaa! Done. I win.

Life Lessons

I'm deciding to make a list of interesting snid bits of information I have come across in my life time, purely for your entertainment. Following the bits will be the name of the person I learned this from.

1.) You can peel a clementine in one piece. - Grant Johnson
2.) If you blow dry your eye lash curler on high heat before you use it on your lashes, the curl will hold better. - Macke Rodamaker
3.) Party Streamer doesn't taste good. -Gabi Francis
4.)  You shouldn't kiss Justin Bieber on the lips because his breath might stink. - Anna (my five year old sister)
5.) You can't learn how to drive an 18 wheeler by watching YouTube videos- Mike (my step dad, who is a real truck driver, unlike my self despite my Internet attempts)
6.) Never let your 66 year old grandmother give you a sex talk. -I know this one from personal experience
7.) Be on time - My grandma (not the sex one, the other one.) who is consistently half and hour early.
8.) You should remember to wear spankies under your show choir dress. -Keely Hertzel
Mr.Dykstra Section:
9.) Don't kiss in the hallways of Mason City High School - Mr.Dykstra
10.) If you are a boy, don't use the urinal right next to anyone else. - Mr. Dykstra
11.) If you are a freshman boy, don't touch other freshman boys. -Mr.Dykstra
12.) Don't call inanimate object homosexual because it probably has no sexual preference. -Mr. Dykstra 
13.) How to spell the word inanimate -My mother...30 seconds ago

and that's pretty much all I can think of right now. So... If you have any life lessons you would like to share with me that would be fabulous, and technically considered continuing the conversation, making it easy for you to get points for commenting. Your welcome.

I help you, you help me... so,
I win.

Dear Blog, no offense but... I want nothing to do with you.

I have come to the conclusion that blogging is not a creative outlet or a way for me to express myself and my feelings... "Blogging" is just a pain in the butt created by Mr. Dykstra to not only ruin my Sunday evenings but, exploit my personal thoughts and opinions. What if this week I didn't feel passionate enough about something to spout out my highly opinionated thoughts to people that don't really care and are only following this stupid blog because of a class assignment.
Yes, things may come up in my life that I am more than welcome to tell everyone what I think about them, but what if it wasn't one of those weeks? I like to write about things that I have a lot to say about, and I don't have a whole lot to say about anything right now. (except how much I hate the requirement of one blog post a week) I don't want to read one hundred blogs titled "What I Did This Weekend" for the simple fact that I could care less what anybody did with there weekend unless you found a cure for cancer or at least an event of equivalent importance. Now, In saying this I am fully aware that all of you could probably care less what I did with my weekend, which is why I'm not telling you. (Yes I realize my last post was about my weekend, but I find the event of my dad playing twister quite astonishing, plus It was last minute, as is this.)
Forty. That's how many words I have left until I am put out of my misery by this blog being done. 
Nineteen...more words till I stop hating life.
Eleven. Is the quantity of words till bedtime.
Three. I. totally. win.